Shane Mauss (Comedy Central, Conan, Jimmy Kimmel, Showtime) and Gary Petersen (Joy Asia) join host Shawn Carter to talk about comedy.

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_ Hey guys guess what I did this weekend? What, you think you’re the king of guessing all of a sudden? Much like every weekend I spent a good majority of it trying to catch up on some stuff. Television shows, movies, comic books, exercise (just kidding). I got around to watching some movies that I bought over a month ago. What am I doing? I get so excited to get these things then I don’t even get around to watching them for a month? I must just be addicted to entertainment but not so much enjoying it as seeking it out. That’s what I love, the hunt.  I remember last year I really wanted to watch the film, “Best In Show”, which is a very excellent movie, I’ve seen it a few times before but for some reason on that particular day I needed to have it. So I went to a Best Buy and they didn’t have it, then I went to a Newburry Comics and they didn’t have it, so I went to a Moviestop, Borders, and then finally another Newburry that did have it. All that trouble for a movie that I haven’t even bothered to watch to this day. Now I could have easily ordered a cheap copy on amazon but there was just something about having to have it right away that was gnawing at my balls. I get very overly obsessed about the things that I like, once I get it in my head that I have to have a certain comic book or movie or transvestite-bird I can’t rest until I have it. Even if it means me looking like a dick at an FYE going, “what do you mean you didn’t get in any copies of The Snuff Box! A great subversive British sketch show finally being released on US region dvd and you didn’t get a copy?! I’m going to get a pretzel from Auntie Anne’s!”  I wonder if it’s like this for any other addiction. Maybe there’s a guy out there who really likes cocaine (as opposed to people that are just kinda “meh” about it) who buys it, puts it in his sock drawer then three weeks down the line finds it when he’s rearranging his socks by least favorite to favorite. “Oh that’s where I put that drug. I wish I had some time to eat it (not sure how drugs work) but I have that damn date with the dentist!” That has either probably never happened or definitely happens all the time.  Do I really need all my stuff? Sure I’ve toyed around with the idea of living a minimalist lifestyle. Just chucking everything to charity and living in a small shack behind an even bigger shack with nothing but a blanket and a copy of Bette Midler’s autobiography, “I Gotta Be Me!”. We all have those fantasies. But that’s just what they are… dreams (or did I say fantasies, no time to check I’m on a roll!) because in the end we live for the hunt, we need it, it’s encoded on into our DNA. Without something to constantly be searching for we’d all be content and happy and what kind of world would that be like? Everyone just loving each other and going to work as happy as a pigeon? A goddamn pigeon? Maybe that’s alright for you but I like America just the way it is and if you can’t handle that well then there’s the door.  So in conclusion, let’s all hold hands and pretend we’re the world’s biggest and weirdest conjoined twins. I call this guy! Hey get away from me. Hey how’d you type that?

*Every week Rick uses a random word generator to pick a topic, and rambles on about it using related stories, thoughts, and questionable facts he thought he heard somewhere.  Once finished he'll look up the actual definition and see if he was in the ballpark.

random word: mustard

Hot damn this is going to be a fun one!  Well at least one story will be fun and then we will see what I write about after.  Ok so what do I think mustard is?...   well it's a condiment, goes well on hamburgers and hot dogs.  I think it might be derived from a plant since I think I have heard of mustard seeds.  Spicy stuff folks.



Professional comedian Jason Marcus is a fool.  He is also one of my best friends.  Every time we see each other we do that silly thing where he claims I have something on my shirt, I look down, and then he flicks me in the nose.  We're both in on the game, it's fun for us.  We actually make this idea stupider.  He will point at my shirt and say I have a mustard stain on my shirt, and I will go into a long elaborate monologue about how such a thing could have come to be.



Rick: "Well what did I have to eat today?...   Well this morning I had a blueberry muffin, no mustard there I think.  Then at lunch I had a bratwurst, you would think that would be it BUT I remember that the guy was out of mustard!  All dried up!  Can you believe it?  So it couldn't have been at lunch.  On the way home I stopped at the French's Yellow Mustard museum, but I only stopped to use the bathroom...   didn't see any of the actual mustard exhibits.  You know what it must be?...   I had a bowl of mustard ice cream after dinner tonight and I have been known to not work a spoon correctly."



Jason: "Yup that must have been it." (After feigning interest with barrage of uh-huh's and yah's, while never taking his finger off of my shirt.)

 
Rick:  "well I guess all that is left now is to look at the mess I have left upon myself and..."
(Flick)Rick and Jason :  "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH"Rick:  "Every damn time!"
We are friends, we have fun.
You know what?...  Fuck it, that's plenty.  I never said everyone of these articles is going to be a novella.  I gave you your word, and wrote a cute thing about it from my life.  I don't need to add that Lil Wayne uses mustard to mean money (which is weird.)  You got your damned article... GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT ALREADY!

mus·tard/ˈməstərd/ Noun:

1. A pungent-tasting yellow or brown paste made from the crushed seeds of certain plants, typically eaten with meat or used as a cooking...
2. The yellow-flowered Eurasian plant (genera Brassica and Sinapis) of the cabbage family whose seeds are used to make this paste.

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