Shane Mauss (Comedy Central, Conan, Jimmy Kimmel, Showtime) and Gary Petersen (Joy Asia) join host Shawn Carter to talk about comedy.

Download any of our UnScene Comedy Podcasts for FREE on iTunes by clicking here: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unscenecomedy/id434775849
or searching "unscenecomedy" on itunes.  Subscribe for free and you'll never have to come back to this website again.

*Every week Rick uses a random word generator to pick a topic, and rambles on about it using related stories, thoughts, and questionable facts he thought he heard somewhere.  Once finished he'll look up the actual definition and see if he was in the ballpark.

random word: mustard

Hot damn this is going to be a fun one!  Well at least one story will be fun and then we will see what I write about after.  Ok so what do I think mustard is?...   well it's a condiment, goes well on hamburgers and hot dogs.  I think it might be derived from a plant since I think I have heard of mustard seeds.  Spicy stuff folks.



Professional comedian Jason Marcus is a fool.  He is also one of my best friends.  Every time we see each other we do that silly thing where he claims I have something on my shirt, I look down, and then he flicks me in the nose.  We're both in on the game, it's fun for us.  We actually make this idea stupider.  He will point at my shirt and say I have a mustard stain on my shirt, and I will go into a long elaborate monologue about how such a thing could have come to be.



Rick: "Well what did I have to eat today?...   Well this morning I had a blueberry muffin, no mustard there I think.  Then at lunch I had a bratwurst, you would think that would be it BUT I remember that the guy was out of mustard!  All dried up!  Can you believe it?  So it couldn't have been at lunch.  On the way home I stopped at the French's Yellow Mustard museum, but I only stopped to use the bathroom...   didn't see any of the actual mustard exhibits.  You know what it must be?...   I had a bowl of mustard ice cream after dinner tonight and I have been known to not work a spoon correctly."



Jason: "Yup that must have been it." (After feigning interest with barrage of uh-huh's and yah's, while never taking his finger off of my shirt.)

 
Rick:  "well I guess all that is left now is to look at the mess I have left upon myself and..."
(Flick)Rick and Jason :  "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH"Rick:  "Every damn time!"
We are friends, we have fun.
You know what?...  Fuck it, that's plenty.  I never said everyone of these articles is going to be a novella.  I gave you your word, and wrote a cute thing about it from my life.  I don't need to add that Lil Wayne uses mustard to mean money (which is weird.)  You got your damned article... GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT ALREADY!

mus·tard/ˈməstərd/ Noun:

1. A pungent-tasting yellow or brown paste made from the crushed seeds of certain plants, typically eaten with meat or used as a cooking...
2. The yellow-flowered Eurasian plant (genera Brassica and Sinapis) of the cabbage family whose seeds are used to make this paste.

ARE YOU HAPPY?!!  ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!!!
...See yous next week.   

Hey guys guess what I did this weekend? Nope you’re thinking of Harrison Ford from Air Force One. My weekend was a lot less getoffmydamnplaney. This weekend was a Holiday weekend and not one of those bullshit holidays like St. Patrick’s Day this was a true blue American tradition. I’m talking about Thanksgiving of course. It’s probably the least douchy of any holiday. Most holidays focus on give me, give me like Halloween (give me candy), Christmas (give me presents), and Valentines Day (give me a romantic night out at Papa Johns). But good ol’ reliable Thanksgiving is the “nice guy” of the holidays. It’s the kind of holiday that all the female holidays say they’d like to marry some day but right now they kind of just want to hang out with cooler holidays like the Fourth of July. So Thanksgiving is like oh that’s cool, that’s cool, I’ll just stay home I got these leftovers I’ll just use to fill that hole in my life with. What I’m saying is that Thanksgiving is nice, if you looked at face book or twitter all people were talking about was what they’re thankful for.  So you’re probably wondering what I’m thankful for, either that or you’re wondering when this article is going to end, which if you’re wondering that second thing then just stop reading it you idiot no one’s putting a gun to your head, but imagine if someone did? That’d be the weirdest hostage situation ever. “Read this article or I’ll shoot you.” “Why are you doing this?!?” “Because I find these articles delightful and not enough people read it. Now hurry up I can’t hear you reading.” “How can you hear someone read?” Annnnnnd scene. That was fun, what were we talking about? I’m thankful for comic books and all the women that won’t go out with me allowing me the time to read them. I’m thankful for all the comedy shows I get to do and the 3-4 people that attend them. I’m thankful for pizza and absolutely no other food whatsoever. I’m thankful for this website and the change to write for it every week and all the ideas I have, I mean I have a lot of ideas… hmnn, what else, what else to write about it?  There’s a second holiday after Thanksgiving called Black Friday where a lot of stores have sales. I spent a lot of money at the comic book shop this weekend. It’s hard because I’ve actually been trying to save money lately and comic books are my most extratenious (not a real word) expense. This always happens to me just when I get to the point where I’m like okay I think I’m going to just have to stop buying stuff… oh wait all weekend sale well if I’m gonna buy this stuff I might as well buy everything. Next thing you know I’m back in the poor house, of course inside the house I have tons of copies of Avengers, Herc, and Journey Into Mystery, but it’s still not the best house to be in. Oh well there’s always next year kiddo.  So in conclusion, Happy Holidays everyone, except for you Mike… you know what you did. 

Site run by Shawn Carter.  Contact him at carter.shawn@hotmail.com  OR  https://www.facebook.com/shawncartercomedy